Scoop Out my Brain

Finale

2011-04-10T19:56:00.000-07:00

After Agnes leaves, Nathan and Katharine kiss. Finally. Then, cue music to:

14. Closing Sequence

KATHARINE
You wanna get out of here?

NATHAN
Uh huh.

KATHARINE
Where do you think we can go?

NATHAN
(thinks.)
Let's walk.

(A subdued reprise of the opening number. Lights shift to JAY as he somberly enter the common room, alone, and looks around at the mess. After a moment, the music explodes into a full reprise of the opening number.* Everyone except NATHAN, KATHARINE, and AGNES enters excitedly and repeats the choreography from the top of the show. During the reprise, JAY walks around the room, detached, watching everyone numbly but not interacting with them. He does not sing or dance.)

ALL (but JAY)
Here we go again
Time for another college party
Somehow so much happens every night
But nothing ever changes.
The story of the years we spent
Content to just experiment
With friends and freedom in four years of frozen time.

JAY
(to himself and the audience, bemused)
How amazing is this?
**

*Meanwhile, I'm booking it backstage-right from stage left, dropping the box, pulling on my (underwear on Saturday, my) pants, my shirt, and my shoes, and booking it back across backstage to re-enter on stage left with everyone else, just barely making it back in time each show.
**After this there's also 15. Curtain Call, but it's just the na na nas and "How-amazing-is-thises, capped with a Here-we-go-again-time-for-another-college-party.

And Then...

2011-04-09T19:12:00.000-07:00

Agnes talks to Kath and Nath, Simon returns, and, finally, they ask Agnes why she can't let them have fun. As she gives her an answer, a series of events (in slow motion, for our production) take place outside the bedroom, exactly proving her point, which is the extremely accurate:

13. College Kids Are Idiots

AGNES
(spoken)
Why not? Why not?
(She throws open the door. Lights up on the rest of the dorm room. We see everyone partying below. Cue music.)
I'll tell you why not!
(sings):
College kids are idiots,
And you are a college kid.
So therefore you're a total idiot.
In every case this rule holds true. 'Cause

College kids are idiots
And tend to destroy themselves
And so I spend my every waking hour
Protecting you from you.*

When you drive golf carts down the stairs
Or you go sledding in your underwear
I'm the one who's waiting there
To scream and yell and stare
And steam and glare and swear
And no one anywhere can
Understand why I should care that**

College kids are idiots. Well,
Unfortunately, you matter.
Because the future belongs to the idiots.
God help us.
Which is why I still try.
The future belongs to the idiots.
God help us.
So we can't have you die.***

(AGNES, KATHARINE, and NATHAN watch from JAY's room, as the students do ridiculous and dangerous things. It's really a mess. After a few moments of watching this, AGNES turns back to KATHARINE and NATHAN. The craziness continues in the room, even more frantically than ever.)
When you eat mothballs on a dare
Or you set fire to your teddy bear
I'm the one who's waiting there
to scream and yell and stare
And steam and glare and swear
And no one anywhere can
Understand why I should care that****

(as the CHORUS ahhs)
College kids are idiots. Well,
Unfortunately, you matter. Because

AGNES & CHORUS
The future belong to the idiots.

AGNES
God help us.
Which is why I still try.

CHORUS
Ah-ah-ahh!

AGNES & CHORUS
The future belongs to the idiots.

AGNES
God help us.
So we can't have you die!

CHORUS
(as AGNES holds on "die")
College kids, college kids,
Idiots, ahh!*****

*They put bubble wrap over Simon's head and started hitting.
**Sword fighting with hockey sticks. Then they smashed heads and both collapsed. The girls downstage-left pointing and laughing are collapsed from wheelbarrowing across the room.
***Keg stand!
****I got lots of laughs running across the stage in a beer box. Plus it was nice and breezy. And if you're wondering, yes, I wore my underwear under the box. Except on Saturday. I still wore my underwear. I just wore them... on... my head. Afterwards, Morgan (Amy) told me she saw a bit of cheek.
*****Funnels, as we all cheer them on. w00t!

No P

2011-04-09T19:01:00.000-07:00

Here's a reprise (not a preprise; no P). After Jay leaves, Katharine comes in. She and Nathan talk a bit. He asks if she remembers when they me. She answers:

12A. Nathan and Katharine's Reprise*

(spoken):
KATHARINE
(laughing)
Wait, do you?

NATHAN
(playfully, flirtatiously)
I kinda, fell into-- which I'm... sorry about, by the way-- but--

KATHARINE
I remember.

NATHAN
(smiles. Music crescendos. He mocks himself, playinga game with KATHARINE, but with an underlying sincerity. Sings:)
There's something in your eyes...

KATHARINE
(playing a game with him too, says:)
You noticed I have eyes!**

NATHAN
I wonder what you're thinking about...

KATHARINE
You are such a dweeb.

NATHAN
Do you feel the way that I do?

BOTH
(leaning in for a possible**** kiss)
Guess there's only one way to find out...

*Remember Katharine's part in "How Amazing is This?" when Nathan was fascinated by some Cool Ranch Doritos? This is to the same tune.
**On our Saturday show, she followed that with, "...and not just boobs."
***Until this line, Nathan sings and Katharine speaks.
****It's only a possible kiss because, before they get there, Agnes barges or tumbles in, looking for Jay, and the music abruptly stops.

H2H

2011-04-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

Nathan finds Jay in his room. They have a heart-to-heart, like Eric and I used to have when he'd get drunk and come to my room. Then:

12. Reflection*

JAY
Dude.
All the girls wanna see me.
All the guys wanna be just like me,
Be around me, so yeah,
Whatcha heard is all true.

Sure.
I'm as chill as they make 'em.
Where's the party? I'll take right over.
Take the spotlight, 'cause hey,
It's me. It's what I do. And

Ooh, my life is pretty sweet.
But ooh, it's kinda incomplete
'Cause ev'ry night, once the magic show is through
There's still one more person that I wish I knew.
He's confiding in a freshman,
On a Saturday at a quarter after two.

NATHAN**
Yeah.
Guess my collar flips up now,
And a dollar means one more beer at
One more party,
Try to remember one more name.

JAY
Hey.
So you're learning the way to
Smile and say that you like Dave Matthews,***

NATHAN
You hate to study.****

JAY
It's not real, you know? It's just a game.

NATHAN
But now ooh, you're somehow not the same.

JAY
Ooh, not sure what I became

BOTH
Or where to go from here, 'cause this is how it's gonna be
Till I finally escape with my degree.

JAY
But for now I'll talk in monotone

NATHAN
Soaked in cologne

BOTH
At a quarter after three.*****

NATHAN
Na na na na na na na na

BOTH
Na na na na na na na na

Hoping to god we fit in okay, hell,
We started this act on the very first day.
Wondering who is this guy we're all trying to be
And what will he do to me?

Ooh, I think we all feel lost.
Ooh, beneath our loud Lacoste
Lies that little kid that we're all trying to ignore
Who hopes after college he'll be something more.

JAY
But he still fakes smiles and handshakes.

NATHAN
Still that guy who doesn't get it.

JAY
Just wants decent conversation,

NATHAN
Motivation,

BOTH
Aspiration.

JAY
Or just to disappear at half past four.

NATHAN
Na na na na na na na na

JAY
Na na na na na na na na

BOTH
Na na na na na na na na

*I'm told that Drew Fornarola and Scott Elmegreen wrote this song first, then built the rest of the show around it.
**Due to being sick and this song being at the end of the show, you could hear Nathan's voice starting to go (only the very slightest bit, here or there) by the end of this song. But only on opening night; the other shows were better. Especially considering he was still sick.
***Me too!
****Me too!
*****Apparently, this song has been going on for an hour.

An Accurate Designation of our Generation

2011-04-03T12:11:00.000-07:00

The next morning, the football scene. A brief discussion of the word "meh." And then the awesomely hokey song:

11. Generation Meh

JAY
Our grandparents were the greatest
Mom and Dad were Boomers
But no one knows who we are yet.
None* of the labels the experts pick
Ever seem to really stick.
Which makes us just a little bit upset.
So without further ado
I present to you
Generation...
meh.**

EDDIE
Stuff sucks
But there's nothing we can do about it.

NATHAN
Well, not without considerable effort.
Armies forming and
Global warming won't
Simply go away.

AMY
Too bad

ROB
Yeah.

WILL
Stuff sucks
But there's nothing we can do about it.

NATHAN
Well, not without initiative and planning.

LINDSAY
Dreaming big is so
Overrated, though

ALL (but NATHAN)
Why not spend the day here
Coasting through,
Getting by;
Doing our best not to try.
Just like all our friends across the nation.
Maybe we could make a stir,

JAY
But apathy is easier.

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

EDDIE
Meh.

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

ROB
Meh.

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

NATHAN
Meh?

ADRIENNE & AMY
World's bad
But there's nothing we can do about it.

SARAH & LINDSAY
Well, not without some discipline and focus.

ROB & WILL
But in that regard,
Working hard is hard

EDDIE
We prefer to sit.

JAY
Things blow
But there's nothing we can do about it.

SARAH
Well, not without, like, taking off our headphones.

NATHAN
Might be worth a shot--

JAY
But we'd rather not.

ALL (but NATHAN)
It's less stress to quit.

ALL
Coasting through,
Getting by;
Doing our best not to try.
Just like all our friends across the nation.

MEN
Don't buy what they try to teach ya.

WOMEN
Stay inside and read your Nietzsche.***

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

LINDSAY
Meh.

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

WILL
Meh.

ALL (but NATHAN)

Generation

NATHAN
Meh?

EDDIE (spoken)
All right, everybody, let's do the apathy dance.

(They do the most unenthusiastic dance break ever. These three lines are spoken over the course of the dancing:)

LINDSAY
Whatever.

ROB
This is sooo lame.

AMY
Oh my God.

JAY
Democrats are stupid and
Republicans are evil
So why bother to believe you'll
Make a difference either way?

AMY
The terrorists keep plotting
And diseases keep on spreading.
No one quite knows where we're heading.

ALL
Maybe that's why kids today are

NATHAN
Scared to fail
Scared to death

ALL
All of us holding our breath
Even as we roll our eyes and pout.
We're wondering if we could come through

NATHAN
Even if we wanted to
Secretly afraid to go find out.

JAY
So for now we're all just

ALL
Coasting through,
Getting by;
Doing our best not to try.
Just like all our friends across the nation.
Sure the world will go to shit
But we don't have to notice it.

GROUP 1

Generation

GROUP 2
Meh

GROUP 1

Generation

GROUP 2
Meh

GROUP 1

Generation

GROUP 2
Meh

GROUPS 1 & 2****
Work (meh) Clean (meh) Vote (meh) Study (meh) Try (meh) Care (meh) Plan (meh) Thnik (meh)
(GROUP 3 enters here, singing LAs -- overlapping with below, happily, skipping around while plugging their ears, verse melody.)
Protest (meh) Challenge (meh) Grow (meh) Reach (meh) Dream (meh) Fight (meh) Question (meh) Hope (meh) Work (meh) Clean (meh) Vote (met) Study (meh)

ALL
Generation...

NATHAN
Meh.

*For the longest time, our Jay would always say "all" instead of "none," which sends the exact opposite message.
**The word "meh" is never sung; always spoken.
***At least two people in the cast (university students) at some point asked me what that line meant (and who/what Nietzsche is). I was thoroughly disappointed.
****I was group 1. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to memorize all the words in order. But I did. Don't worry.

We're in the Double Digits!

2011-03-31T21:15:00.000-07:00

Katharine sees Nathan and Lindsay makkin'. She tips off Agnes and then, once everyone else has passed out, she sings:

10. All Together, All Alone

KATHARINE
All together
All alone
Driving in circles in the dark.
We're all wondering how
We're gonna find our way
And if we'd know it if we got where we're going.

All together
All alone
Trying to do the best we can.
A little over our heads
Maybe misunderstood
But all we want is just to know what we want

We're just kids
Who feel old.*
Still looking for answers to questions
We don't know how to ask.

KATHARINE & NATHAN
All together
All alone
Wondering where to go from here.**
But we wear a brave face
And let ourselves go numb
An wait for something to change.

KATHARINE, NATHAN & CHORUS
We're just kids (All together, all alone)
Who feel old. (All together, all alone)
Still looking for answers to questions
We don't know how to ask.***

GROUP 1
All together
All alone
Wondering where to go from here,
GROUP 2
All together
All alone
Driving in circles in the dark,
GROUP 3****
All together
All alone
Trying to do our best,*****

ALL
But we wear a brave face
And let ourselves go numb
And wait for something to change.

All together...

KATHARINE
All alone.

*I feel like that a lot. Like when I was in grade 12. And on my 20th birthday.
**For these three lines, Nathan sings it a bit later than Katharine, and they overlap.
***Chorus on the left, Katharine and Nathan on the right. Similar overlapping for the last two lines, with the chorus, then Kath and Nath.
****Usually Nathan and Katharine.
*****Similar overlapping.

Niner!

2011-03-30T20:58:00.000-07:00

After Agnes' unsuccessful attempt to get evidence from Katharine of the party, the focus shifts to Nathan and Lindsay as:

9. You're Good Enough for Now

(NATHAN tries to smoke pot, can't, and begins coughing hysterically. They talk:)

LINDSAY
See? It's easy!

NATHAN
Am I making any sense?

LINDSAY
Some...

NATHAN
You see, when I get drunk, I get less... articulous...

LINDSAY
You're cute.

NATHAN
Lindsay... how can I put this?
(sings):
I have this weird feeling.
I'm afraid it's here to stay
'Cause I'm pretty sure drinking more
Won't make it go away.
And since you're really hot
I don't know what to do.
I guess I'm sort in love with you, a little.

This is happening so fast.
Will it last? I can't see how.
But we might as well.
What the hell.
You're good enough for now.*

LINDSAY
I thought you were stupid.
I actually still do.
And I thought that you were immature
And I still think that too.
But I'm so bored right now
That from my point of view
I guess I'm sorta in love with you, a little.

This is happening so fast.
Will it last? I can't see how.
But we might as well.
What the hell.
You're good enough for now.

NATHAN
Maybe we're meant to be.

LINDSAY
Maybe I feel a spark.

BOTH
Maybe people just seem better-looking in the dark.

NATHAN
I'm not saying let's move in.

LINDSAY
I'm not saying let's get pets.

BOTH
I'm just saying one night might be worth all the regrets.**

I'm willing to settle
'Cause you have shown me how.
You're out of mind when you're out of sight
But I see you right now.
We're not a perfect match
You're not my dream come true
But I guess I kinda maybe might be slightly sort of almost nearly somewhat rather fairly relatively
In love with you.***

CHORUS
Ahh, ahh.

NATHAN & LINDSAY
A little.
And that's love enough for now.
CHORUS
Ooh...

This is happening so fast
Will it last? I can't see how.

NATHAN & LINDSAY
But we might as well.
What the hell...

*This song sounds sweet at first listen. Or, it did for me. Then I actually listened to the lyrics, and discovered that it's hilairmo.
**I told that to someone once. It must have been someone who was in the show, and got the reference. I wonder what I was talking about...
***AWESOME line!

After, 8

2011-03-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

Agnes has set up camp outside Jay et al.'s room. She's waiting. Intermission. After that, the party starts with:

8. Alcoholeluia
I put in boldface the lines corresponding with the pictures they precede.

JAY emerges from his room. He stands on his balcony, above the entering crowd, like a priest. Everyone masses like a creepy Gothic chorus below him. He begins to sing in Gregorian-style chant.

JAY
Brothers and sisters, we are gathered here tonight
To worship the defining of the college experience.

ALL
(turning to the audience)
Ahh...

JAY
To celebrate the one thing that unifies us all.

ALL
(turning to the audience)
Ahh...

JAY
To participate in the miracle that occurs on
Campuses across America every Thursday, Friday
Saturday, and sometimes the other days too.
ALL
Ooh...

JAY
(spoken)
Eddie! Tap the keg!

ALL
(as EDDIE taps the keg:)
Ooh...ahh!

Gospel-rock feel begins.**

ALL
Life is hard but never fear
Your one true calling is ever clear
So come commit to getting lit today.
If you believe, then you will see
The pointlessness of sobriety
With Jack in hand your problems float away!

Send your conscience on vacation
And embrace annihilation.
Let the beer be your salvation
As you sing...

Alcoholeluia!
Alcoholeluia!
Grab a brew.
Let it guide you through the night, ahh!
Alcoholeluia!
Get a few into ya.
Oh Lord!
We've seen the Miller Light.

(spoken):
LINDSAY
Hey, Nathan -- don't you look cute!

NATHAN
Thanks -- I changed shoes! Hey, do you know if Katharine's gonna be here tonight?

LINDSAY
I haven't seen her. Aren't you two in a fight?

NATHAN
I guess so...
(LINDSAY touched him flirtatiously as she walks away, and NATHAN spills his drink on himself.)

(sung):
WOMEN
Every day new troubles come
But you can't let them distract you from
The only faith with proof that you can see.

MEN
We speak in tongues and dance and shout
And get so happy that we pass out***
And isn't that the way that life should be?

JAY
So I'll loan ya a Corona.
It'll change your whole persona.
We'll get you in the zone and
Then you'll sing...
ALL
Ooh, ah ah ah ah
Ooh, ah ah ah ah
Ooh, ah ah ah ah, ahh

ALL
Alcoholeluia!
Alcoholeluia!
Drink with me, there's no need to be uptight. Ahh!
Alcoholeluia!
Feel it flowing through ya!
Oh Lord!
We've seen the Miller Light.

(Dance break with overlapping chanting; each group continues as the next joins in.)

GROUP 1
Boot and rally. Boot, boot and rally.
Boot and rally. Boot, boot and rally.

GROUP 2
Shit I have to piss again! Shit I have to piss again!
Shit I have to piss again! Shit I have to piss again!****

GROUP 3
Oh my god! I love this song!
Oh my god! I love this song!

GROUP 4
Notice me. Please, notice me. Why won't you
Notice me. Please, notice me. Why won't you

GROUP 5
This guy! Look at this guy. Hey! This guy right here's amazing!
This guy! Look at this guy. Hey! This guy right here's amazing!

JAY
Have a shot of half a handle.
Nothing else can hold a candle
To liquor on demand! You'll
Start to sing...

ALL
ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
(The group huddles together like an a capella group, each holding a shot.)
Alcoholeluia!
Alcoholeluia!
Pretty soon
It'll start to taste all right.
(shot)
Ahh!
(throw their shots/cups)

Alcoholeluia!
It's what you gotta do, duh!
Oh Lord!
We've seen the Miller Light.
Ahh!

Alcoholeluia!
Alcoholeluia!
Be born again
Feel the spirits and unite, ahh!
Alcoholeluia!
Then boot and start anew, ya,
Sing Lord!
We've seen the Miller Light, ahh...
Oh Lord!
We've seen the Miller Light.

*We were all wearing dark hoodies for this part, with our heads bowed so you couldn't see our faces. It was quite eerie.
**And this is when we pulled off our hoods and it got all bright and junk.
***Here, I passed out. Yes, I fell again. And not for the last time in the show, either.
****Our girls said pee instead of piss. By the way, groups 1, 4, and 5 were guys; 2 and 3 were girls. I was in group 4.

Ending Seven

2011-03-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, so number 7 doesn't end the first act, but it is the last song in act one. Well, where we had the intermission. The script doesn't actually have an intermission written into it.
Anyway, after "Tired," Jay announces another party for that night. Nathan argues with his parents over the phone, making for something of an awkward situation for the others. Everyone leaves but Nathan, Will, and Sarah. While Nathan sits at Simon's desk, Will and Sarah begin to talk:

7. We're Who I Am*

(spoken):
WILL
I'm just... I'm not the greatest when it comes to the little things in our relationship. I get stressed out, and maybe I'm not always as considerate as I could be... I often don't return your e-mails, or your voicemails, or your text messages... I've never remembered your birthday, or our anniversary... at parties I ignore you, and I flirt with other girls... or I go out without you and I come home drunk... and I never wanna cuddle--

SARAH
(cutting off WILL and the music vamp)
Will, stop. Seriously.

WILL
Sorry! I just wanna make sure it's not me you're tired of...

SARAH
(as the vamp starts up again)
Will

WILL
Yes?

SARAH
(sings)**
There must have been a time
When I kissed myself good night.
I try to think of it
But it doesn't quite ever feel right.

What was it
Like on my own?
Facing each morning alone
It wasn't long ago, I know.
And yet...

I don't remember.
We're who I am now.
Like I was
Born the day we met.
We're who I am.***

There must have been a time
When I turned around and you weren't there.
All that was guiding me
Were some daydreams and pieces of prayer.

What if our
Paths hadn't crossed?
Would I be
Wandering, lost?

Wondering what this empty life could mean?

I can't imagine.
We're who I am now.
No other
Way it could have been.
We're who I am.

(NATHAN looks up from the desk. He watches. SARAH continues, not noticing NATHAN.)

One day I disappeared.
It was scary and wonderful all at once.
I've vanished. There's only us,
And no way I could ever go back, 'cause

Who would I be then?
(WILL kisses her.)
And I don't know what I would do.
If there were no "I love you too."
I would be no one without you.
We're who I am.

*This song actually quite reminds me of "Under Your Spell," Tara's song in "Once More, With Feeling."
**When she first started this song, our Sarah was really quiet, which was a shame because she has such a nice voice. By January, though, she seemed much more confident, and had a much stronger voice.
***It seems sweet, but when you consider this side plot with her, Will, and Jay, it's actually a bit depressing.

The Real Six

2011-03-24T21:33:00.000-07:00

Simon returns to his room, to find that now, everyone else is studying, and they're all getting mad at him for being loud. And, of course, he says, "What the hell." Katharine comes in, followed by Nathan, who's choosing to skip Spanish. Way to go, Rob. This is all your fault. Amy comes in, and quickly and energetically strings together a nearly incomprehensible series of run-on sentences concerning her participation in too many extra-curriculars. She collapses. Lindsay comes back, and Jay comes from his room. Nathan ponders his tiredness, pointing out he's done nothing all day. Amy proceeds to prove him wrong:

6. Tired

AMY
We're e-mail checkers and Ramen noodle makers,
Poster putter-uppers and party partakers.
(She accepts and drinks a Red Bull, and the music speeds up.)
We're rehearsal go-er to-ers and
Sometime laundry do-ers.
Hash connoisseurs, and piggy bank breakers.
(Chorus begins to trickle in; they're all there by the first chorus.)

WILL & LINDSAY
We're relationship havers and roommate mediators

EDDIE
Butt sitter onners

ROB
And lunatic daters.

ADRIENNE
We're soccer stars who play guitars at nursing homes, then go to bars

ALL
Knowing that we have a ten-page paper due later.
So, yeah, we're all a little tired, but
Yeah, in college that's required.
There's so much to do, and there's only one you.
So we whine and we droop and we ache
'Cause we're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

(spoken):
NATHAN
I guess we are pretty tired.

AMY
See?

(sung):
KATHARINE
We're midnight pizza eaters, pajama bottom wearers.

SIMON
Lecture sitter throughers and life lesson sharers.

AMY & WILL
We're on our knees* to try to please some Ph.D's and earn degrees

NATHAN
We're cell phone psychoanalysts

EDDIE
And stereo blarers, so

ALL
Yeah, we're all a little weary oh
Yeah, because we've got this theory:
No time for bed? Grab a Red Bull instead.
It's a cycle you just can't shake
When you're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

SIMON
I was up all night doing homework.

ROB
I was up all night playing Smash Fest.

LINDSAY
I was up all night yelling at Rob,
'Cause he was up all night playing Smash Fest.

WILL
I was up all night at the party.

NATHAN & KATHARINE
We were up all night playing phone tag.

EDDIE & ADRIENNE
We were up all night... can't remember why

ALL
Better get some sleep before I die!**

(spoken):
SARAH
(entering)
Hey guys... what're you doing?

ALL
We're tired!

SARAH
Tell me about it!
(sings, as everyone slowly gets up):
I'm tired of my 10 AM lecture and smiling every hour;
Worrying and feeling like I have no power.
The pressure to be pretty and to leave extremely witty away messages
Just to say I'm in the shower

KATHARINE
Having roommates and professors and parents to please--

ALL
Tired!

SIMON
Conjunctivitis

ROB
And bibliographies.

AMY & WILL
Being caffeine machines who act obscene but still dress up on Halloween

ALL
We're tired of being in between, so maybe that explains why we...
Yeah, we're all a little groggy
Oh yeah, and sometimes life gets foggy
Our bodies complain 'cause our lives are insane
Maybe sooner or later they'll break.
'Cause we're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

(AGNES enters and sings counterpoint with the COMPANY)

AGNES
(overlapping with lyrics below:)
Why won't they just go to sleep?
I'm so tired of watching them stay up forever.
Why can't they just go to bed?
Just like normal people do?
What is wrong with you?

WILL
I'm getting tired of being in Jay's shadow.

ROB
I'm getting tired of living like a refugee.

KATHARINE
I'm getting tired of trying so hard.

NATHAN & JAY
I'm getting tired of being me.

SIMON & LINDSAY
I'm getting tired of not being respected.

EDDIE, ADRIENNE, AMY
I'm getting tired of growing up.

SARAH
I'm getting tired of wondering who I am.

ALL (Except AGNES)
Then damn, it's time to cram for an exam.

MEN
So
Yeah, we're all a little burned out.
Yeah, that's just the way it turned out.
WOMEN
(at the same time)
Yeah, we're all a little burned out.
Yeah,

ALL
We're all in so deep that we can't even sleep***
So we're certain to make some mistakes.

(Music stops when EDDIE makes some sort of mistake****. Everyone stops briefly and looks at him before:)

ROB
Ow!

EDDIE
Sorry.

ROB
Dude.

ALL
'Cause we're constantly, ceaselessly, always awake.

WOMEN
Awake!
Awake!
MEN
Yeah, we're all a little tired but
Yeah, in college that's required.

ALL
Endlessly awake!
*****

*I fell a lot in this song. At this part, we all fell to our knees, getting up at the next line.
**We all fell on die.
***Half of us (myself included) fell to the floor on this line; the other half helped us up on the next line.
****For us, Eddie allowed Rob to fall while helping him up. The on time in the whole song that anyone fell and I didn't.
*****Then we all fell to the ground. Again. By the end of show week, I had a huge bruise on the right side of my hip and my right knee, from always falling hard on that last one.

Ssssssssix (well...)

2011-03-22T12:11:00.000-07:00

After Lindsay and Rob break up over a video game, Lindsay runs into Katharine, who's still upset about Nathan. After Lindsay tells Katharine perhaps the most hilariously awesome version of The Ant and the Grasshopper that I have ever heard, Katharine tries calling Nathan, but gets his voicemail. Then:

5A. He's a Dweeb (All Together, All Alone Preprise*)

KATHARINE
I don't get it.
He's a dweeb.
But somehow I care about that
Stupid little twerp.
Because there's something there
Even though he sucks.
Jeez.**
I wanna beat him up.
Or else make out...?

Some girls fall
For the captain of the football team or the poet.
Some girls fall
For the tall ones or the tough ones or the ones with green eyes.***
That said then,
Of course I
Fall for a guy that I kinda hate. Great.
Nice going, Kath'rine.

Still, I like him.
Like... a lot.
Even if I can't understand exactly why.
But now it's three-o-five
And I am late for class.
And my professor will not care
That I'm in love.

*Because apparently that's a word.
**That one word is spoken.
***I'm not a football player or a poet, tough or tall. But I have green eyes. WIN.

Five Years (Well, Posts) of COLLEGE

2011-03-12T18:47:00.000-08:00

Once Agnes' songliloquy (that's my word, so back off!) is done, the guys talk and play for a bit. Then, Lindsay comes in. She's pissed at Rob because he's (as usual) playing Smash Fest. She gives him an ultimatum:

5. Click, Smash!

(spoken):
LINDSAY
That's it, Rob! You have to choose. It's me or Smash Fest.

ROB
What?

LINDSAY
Me or Smash Fest!

EDDIE
(to NATHAN)
Easiest choice ever.

ROB
Oh, come on -- Lindsay, don't do this!

NATHAN
Hey! I got a kill!

WILL
You killed yourself.

LINDSAY
Don't test me, Rob.

ROB
Lindsay, it's not like that. You have to appreciate the finer points of this game!

EDDIE
Yeah, it's real cerebral.

ROB
No, seriously!
(sings)
It might seem like a wasted of time
To sit around a bid TV
But, baby, you don't realize
What animated violence means to me!
Click, smash! It gives us such a rush to
Click, smash! annihilate and crush you
Have to understand that it brings a boy joy to
Click, smash, pointlessly destroy.

LINDSAY
Rob, if you think you're gonna get through to me--

WILL, EDDIE
A huge surge of adrenaline
Accompanies each burst of flame
Hey everyone, I'm Superman*

ROB
Don't try to tell me this is just a game.

ROB, WILL, NATHAN, EDDIE
Click, smash! Hey, look! That guy's defenseless!
Click, smash! We'd better beat him senseless.
You have to understand that it brings a boy joy to
Click, smash, pointlessly destroy.

(spoken)
LINDSAY
Jesus, Rob, just stop it! Guys, this is not impressing me!

ROB
Lindsay, have you even been listening to us?

LINDSAY
Yes! You're the one who isn't listening to--

ROB
Lindsay, please. Come here, come over here!** Now take my controller.
(He gets behind her and puts his arms around her. His hands hold her hands as they both hold the controller.)
Okay, just... think of it like a romantic movie.
(sings, as the other guys do some aahs and oohs.)
I see you alone in the distance
There are thousands of stars in the sky
You look so appealing, there's no use concealing
The feelings I'm feeling inside.
I follow you out to the edge of the pier
And you turn and realize that I'm here
And the drama slowly increases...
(They are about to kiss. ROB, at the last minute, pulls away, turns to the TV and starts hitting buttons violently)
Till I smash your kneecaps to pieces!

(spoken)
LINDSAY
Dammit, Rob! Goodbye!
(She throws the controller and storms out.)

EDDIE
I think she's gone, dude.

ROB
Meh.

ALL
(sing)
They never understand that it brings a boy joy
To click, smash! Pointlessly destroy!

(A rockin' ballet dance break ensues, in which they violently but gracefully fight/dance like ballerinas. They all die, lie motionless for a moment, respawn, and continue fighting. And dancing. ADRIENNE enters.)

ADRIENNE
Hey, guys? What're you doing?

(The boys freeze, embarrassed to be caught dancing ballet.)

ROB
Playing Smash Fest...
(Pause; ADRIENNE looks incredulous.)

WILL
It's kind of a guy thing.

ADRIENNE
Can I play?
(The boys looks dumbfounded for a moment.)

ROB
Uh... sure. Eddie, hand it over.

EDDIE
Why?

ROB
Because you suck!
(EDDIE gives ADRIENNE the controller.)
Now Adrienne, the controls might take some getting used to...

WILL
Whoa!

ROB
Ah! Wait! Stop! Who's hitting me?

ADRIENNE
Sorry. My bad. Tee hee!
(All the boys turn to ADRIENNE, a mix of surprise and longing. She sings:)
It's time to show the boys who's boss.
Come on, you guys, put up a fight!
There isn't any place to hide.
Oh, Rob, I've got you in my sight!

ADRIENNE, ROB
Click, smash! I bashed you in the head, yeah!
Click, smash! It's fun to make thing dead.
WILL, NATHAN, EDDIE***
Click smash ahh
Click smash ahh

ALL
You have to understand that it brings us all joy
To click, smash, pointlessly destroy!

ADRIENNE, ROB
Destroy!
Destroy!
WILL, NATHAN, EDDIE
Click smash, smashy smashy click click
Click smash, smashy smashy click click
Click smash, smashy smashy click
Click smash!

*On this line, we did the Soulja Boy (did I spell that right) "Superman." It started out as a joke suggestion for one person to do, and it eventually got to all of us actually doing it.
**Our Rob said, "Come over here so I can holler at you for a minute!"
***I'm skipping skipping a line to indicate that these parts are sung at the same time. I can't do columns in this medium of writing.

4444

2011-03-09T16:57:00.000-08:00

Soon after, a game of Smash Fest (Super Smash Bros. without the copyright issues) begins, much to Simon's chagrin. A few of the boys express worry about Agnes busting the party, but Jay dismisses them. What he doesn't know, however, is that Agnes is outside, expressing anticipation for the same thing the others are expressing worry for, as well as... other feelings for Jay, in a song that quite reminds me of "Hellfire" from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame (in general theme, not melody or specific content:

4. As Long As it Takes

AGNES
(Beginning with Agnes' March, as she sings along to it)
I hate Jay.
Oh yes. I really do.
I hate him.
Ha, ha ha you hear
That Jay? I'll get you
Soon. Hm! Hm!
Because I really... hate you...

(spoken)
So why can't I stop singing about you?*

(The music shifts, and AGNES' movement shifts with it. She begins singing and dancing beautifully.)
I don't know how you do it.
The charm, the grace, the style...
You haunt my dreams and it seems
Like every time you smile.
I can't control the lust in me
To get you into...
(uncomfortable pause)
...custody.*
So know no matter what or who you do.
For as long as it takes
As long as it takes
I'll be waiting here for you.

I can't get you out of my mind
It's the kind of a bind that could cause insanity
(gesture of insanity)
I back you into a corner
You wink and you wriggle away!
But I'm gonna fight till that one star-crossed
Night when I'll have you at last
And then I'll make you pay!

I know you think you're magic
And you might think so too.
Until today you've had your way
In everything you do.
So laugh at me and have your fun
But soon sweet justice will be done!
And till then I swear I shall not rest
For as long as it takes
As long as it takes
To end my glorious quest!

*On opening night, after she said that line, someone in the audience yelled, "No way!"
**This word was sung with a very... let's say sexy, exhalation. Kind of my favourite part of the song, mostly because of how it was delivered.

Numéro Trois

2011-03-01T05:56:00.000-08:00

Then Agnes comes. Jay charms his way out of junk (again). Remember that tomorrow. Anyway, then everyone leaves until it's just Nathan and Simon. Katharine comes. Nathan doesn't remember her. She get pissed and storms out. In a vain effort to get rid of Nathan, Simon inadvertently kicks off

3. Nathan's Song

(spoken:)
NATHAN
It's not about you, Simon. It's about... needing a change.*

SIMON
Do not sing about it.**

NATHAN
Seeing something new...

SIMON
Nathan! Do not sing about it!

NATHAN
(sings)
Sixteen seems so long ago
I forgot how good it feels

SIMON
(spoken)
You're eighteen.

NATHAN
To have the whole world out in front of you
And a brand new set of wheels.
To not know where you're going,
But to know you're almost gone.
Watch the past get small in the rearview mirror
Turn the radio up and sing along.
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na

I've got the keys, it's time to see
How fast this thing can go.
Roll down the windows, hit the gas
And blast into the night.
I'm gunning it down a brand new road
And going till it feels right.
Gotta make up lost time, so there's
No way I'm gonna stay.
Come if you want to, or get out of my way.

Last night I learned that I
Can have a hundred different faces
And fingerprints that shift and change
And simple choice replaces.
The person you were yesterday
With one you'd rather be.
And suddenly new energy is
Bursting out each part of me!
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na

I've got the keys, it's time to see
How fast this thing can go.

SIMON
(spoken)
Yes, yes it is!

NATHAN
Roll down the windows, hit the gas
And blast into the night.

SIMON
(spoken)
What are you waiting for?

NATHAN
I'm gunning it down a brand new road
And going till it feels right.
Gotta make up lost time, so there's
No way I'm gonna stay.

SIMON
(spoken)
Then don't stay!

NATHAN
Come if you want to, or get out of my way.
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
I've got the keys!

BOTH
Na na na na na na na na
Get out of my way.
Na na na na na na na na
Get out of my way.
(as SIMON puts NATHAN in his desk chair, and rolls him toward the door:)
Na na na na na na na na
Get out of my way.
Na na na na na na na na
(Just as they reach the door, NATHAN stands up, with a new energy, much to SIMON's dismay)
Get out of my way!

*Nathan is scripted to say the word "about" a lot. I mean, a lot. And our Nathan is the only person I have EVER met who actually says "abote."

**Does it break a wall when they acknowledge breaking out into song? Like in "Once More, with Feeling?"

Numba Twoooo

2011-02-28T19:03:00.000-08:00

The next morning, some shit goes down. Simon says "What the hell?" a lot, Eddie comes in and makes another mark on the wall with a Sharpie, and before long, we go into...

2. Simon Says

EDDIE
I think I'm gonna go to the gym.

SIMON
(speaks)
That's great Eddie.

EDDIE
Yup! I think I'm gonna go to the gym!

SIMON
(speaks)
You said that.

EDDIE
It's so much fun to lift and run
And flex my pecs for everyone

SIMON
(speaks)
My God.

EDDIE
I really really like the gym
I think I'm gonna go to the,
Think I'm gonna go to the,
Think I'm gonna go to the...

SIMON
Eddie!

EDDIE
What?

SIMON
What the hell?
(sings:)
I have a test in a couple of hours.
I need to read so I don't fail.
Why can't it be quiet I don't know.
This could affect my whole career.
I dearly wish you'd disappear.
Let's play Simon Says, and I say go!
(pushes EDDIE out the door, just as Amy frantically enters)
Oh no.

AMY
(caffeinated)
Hey Simon, whatcha doin'?
You look tires, I'm not tired.
Ooh! Mol Bio, that's required
I admire you for trying.
It's too hard for me I think,
It really hardly stinks in here.
My nose is happy. You look crappy.
Man, your eyes are pretty pink!
The floor is muddy, buddy else
I'm just a crazy fuddy duddy
Whuddy you think? Crap! I'm out of Red Bull!
Oh, wait! Here's one!
(drinks)
To Simon's Bio preparation
And his awesome education.

(spoken:)
SIMON
What the hell?

AMY
What what what what?

(sung:)
SIMON
I have a test in a couple of hours
I need to read so I don't fail.
Why can't it be quiet, who can say?
If it's at all within your power
Could you shut up for just one hour?
Simon says get out of here, okay?
(gets AMY out of the room, allowing ROB to get in)

ROB
Come on! Take a break!

SIMON
(spoken)
I can't play Smash Fest right now.

ROB
Come on! Take a break!

SIMON
(spoken)
I have a test in two hours!

ROB
This test's a breeze. It's easy.
Please?! You know you want to, dude.

SIMON
(spoken)
You're in this class!

ROB
Come on! Take a break!
Come on! Take a break!
'Cause let's be real, man, here's the deal, man,
Either way you're screwed.

SIMON
(as ROB sits down to play a video game)
We have a test in a couple of hours.
I need to read so I don't fail.

LINDSAY
(entering, frustrated)
Rob!

SIMON
Why can't it be quiet just one day?

LINDSAY
(spoken)
You were supposed to meet me half an hour ago.

SIMON
I think that I might get a "B"
If you don't stop distracting me.
Simon says you need to go away!

ROB and LINDSAY exit. SARAH enters to SIMON's increasing frustration. Music pauses momentarily.

SARAH
(yelling obnoxiously*, trying to find him)
Will!

WILL
(emerging from his room, sickeningly cute, speaks:)
Hey, Sarah. How was the rest of your night?

SARAH
(equally cute)
It was fine. I missed you.

SIMON
Oh my God.

Music re-enters. WILL walks toward SARAH as they sing to each other.

SARAH
Sweetie.

WILL
Lovey.

BOTH
Sugar pie.
Tee hee, tee hee, tee hee!
Mehnm-ehnm-ehnm-ehnmen!

SARAH
Lovey-buggy!

WILL
Schmoopy eyes!

SIMON
(spoken)
You're making me ill.

BOTH
Tee hee, tee hee, tee hee!
Mehnm-ehnm-ehnm-ehnmen!

SARAH
Sweetheart, schnuckums.

WILL
Dream come true!

SARAH
Poopsie woopsie.

WILL
(they hop together)
Kangaroo!

BOTH
(making kissing noises)
Mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah!
You're so cute!

SIMON
(screaming)
All right! Enough! For the love of God, stop!
(sings)
I have a test in a couple of hours!
I need to read so I don't fail...

SARAH
(spoken)
Let's go to your room, Will. It's loud in here.

They exit. SIMON slowly gathers himself. Just as relief sets in and he resumes his reading, all the doors suddenly burst open; EDDIE, AMY, ROB, LINDSAY, SARAH, WILL, and ADRIENNE** enter, and NATHAN pops up from under the blanket on the couch. They have realized that bothering SIMON is a lot of fun, and intend to capitalize on this. They all sing their verses in counterpoint, and then:

ALL
SIMON SIMON SIMON SIMON
SIMON SIMON SIMON SIMON SIMON!

SIMON
(with a scream that ends all their singing)
WHAT THE HELL!

*Our Sarah was adorable, not obnoxious.

**Adrienne doesn't actually sing, but she is in the next scene.

First Installment of COLLEGE

2011-02-27T19:03:00.000-08:00

It was recently made known to me that COLLEGE: the Musical is an awesome show. By recently, I mean September 2010 when I was cast (in the chorus) in the Canadian premiere at my school.
It was made much more recently known to me that knowing lyrics would be desirable, which is understandable, 'cause they rock.
So, presenting the first installment of posting lyrics to the songs so anyone can enjoy them (shit, I hope they don't find this blog in the backwaters of the Internet and get mad at me), I give you the show's opening number:

1. How Amazing is This?

WOMEN
(while the men do some ooh-ing)
It's ninety-nine degrees.
The whole room smells like socks.
It's crawling with disease.

ALL
My God, this really rocks!
Here we go again,
Time for another college party.
Get a drink and grab a partner,
Pick a personality.
And if it doesn't turn out right
Then try again tomorrow night.
Friends and freedom in four years of frozen time...
How amazing is this?

(spoken:)
NATHAN
Did I tell you about the party? ...Of course I'm going -- I'm almost there! Look, I'm here, I can't -- I can barely hear you! ...I know, it's gonna be great! ...Listen, I'm at the door. I'll talk to you soon! ...Okay, thanks. Love you too... Mom.
(Hangs up the phone, bumps into KATHARINE)
Oops!

KATHARINE
Sorry!

NATHAN
Hi...

KATHARINE
Hi...

NATHAN
I'm Nathan!

KATHARINE
(laughs)
Katharine. Nice to meet you.

NATHAN
(adorably enthusiastic)
Are you a freshman, too?

KATHARINE
No... I'm a sophomore. Why don't I introduce you to some of my--

EDDIE
Hey, everybody! Watch me chug an entire gallon of milk!

NATHAN

Ooh!

ALL
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
(sung, divided like beginning:)
Can't see through all the smoke,
Can't move, we're packed so tight.
I think my eardrums broke,
Oh what an awesome night!
Here we go again,
Time for another college party.
Start the playlist, pass the pizza,
Pick a pastel polo shirt.
Sure, the whole world waits for me,
But there's nowhere I'd rather be.
Friends and freedom in four years of frozen time...
How amazing is this?

(spoken:)
NATHAN
Oh my God. College is like... the greatest thing in the history of... ever!

KATHARINE
(laughs)
Yeah, well, classes haven't really picked up yet. Just wait until midterms...

NATHAN
(genuinely excited)
Are midterms awesome too?

KATHARINE
Um...

ROB
(holding a large bag of marshmallows)
I'm goin' for it! ...Chubby Bunny! ...Chubby Bunny! ...Chubby Bunny!

(KATHARINE sings, NATHAN speaks)
KATHARINE
There's something in his eyes...

NATHAN
There's something in this punch!

KATHARINE
I wonder that he's thinking about.

NATHAN
Ooh! They've got Doritos!

KATHARINE
Does he feel the way that I feel?

NATHAN
Aw, Cool Ranch!*

KATHARINE
Guess there's only one way to find out...

(spoken:)
KATHARINE
Hey again!

NATHAN
(with his mouth full and having no idea how to interact with a girl)
...Doritos!

KATHARINE
(laughing)
Yeah. So, um, Nathan, I was wondering... maybe later tonight, you might want to... I don't know, do something fun? Just you and me?

NATHAN
I would love to! Hey, maybe we could go out for--

AMY
Oh my God, it's Jay!

(sung:)
JAY
Is it Thursday or Saturday?

ALL
I don't know!

JAY
Either way, I'm not getting up tomorrow.
We might all be stressed or depressed or obsessed with a test

ALL
But tonight we're all blessed to be
Guests at the best damn party
To start, we all know it's sweat to forget you're upset.

JAY
Why?

EDDIE
We've mastered getting plastered!

ALL
Cheers!

AMY
We're enamoured with getting hammered!

ALL
Cheers!
Just bring us some booze and good friends and loud music and Jay.
Hey! We're all gonna be okay!
Here we go again,
Time for another college party.
Somehow so much happens every night,
But nothing ever changes.
The story of the years we spent,
Content to just experiment.
With friends and freedom in four years of frozen time...
How amazing is this?

JAY
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na

(spoken:)
NATHAN
Who's that?

KATHARINE
That's Jay. He's kind of a big deal.

(sung:)
ALL
Na na na na na na na na

JAY
How amazing is this?

(As chorus breaks into two groups, overlapping their "Na na na's" and "How amazing is this...'s"** during the dialogue; NATHAN begins to drink heavily with some of the other guys.)

(spoken:)
KATHARINE
(walking up to NATHAN and the others)
Whoa -- 'kay -- slow down, guys. Nathan's new at this. Nathan, you don't have to keep up with them...

EDDIE
Aw, Katharine, he's fine!

NATHAN
Fine? I'm great!
(trying to act as sober as possible:)
Katharine. Katharine!
(whispers something in KATHARINE's ear; then, as he is swept up by the crowd, sings; the Na's and How amazing's continue:)
Hey!
This is what it's all about!
Jay's the man.
You're the man.
I'm the man.
We're... We're the man!

ALL
Here we go again,
Time for another college party!

*Our Nathan hated Cool Ranch Doritos. And had to keep eating them.
**Not really sure how to pluralize that.

Validation

2011-02-15T08:40:00.001-08:00

It's time for a great story that validates my awesomeness.

Last semester, in History of Ancient Greece (CL225), Dr. Young mentioned that Cleon was "riding a wave of popularity." As much as I loved her class, I was a bit bored so, naturally, I drew a little picture in my notes of a stick-man (Cleon) surfing on a tidal wave (of popularity).

Last week, while studying for my History of Ancient Rome (CL226) mid-term, I went through my notes for Roman Civ. (CL102) from last year. While flipping through the spiral notebook to find the beginning of my CL102 notes, I happened across something in my notes for Greek Civ. (CL101).

Well, apparently Dr. Schaus also said that Cleon was riding a wave or popularity, because I had drawn the exact same picture in those notes already. I probably even showed it to Jessica last year the same way I showed it to Victoria this year.

Validation of awesomeness? Check.

Legal in the US in Ancient Rome

2011-02-15T08:33:00.001-08:00

Yeah, that's right. I'm 20. But calculating my age the way they did in Ancient Rome, I'm 21, as I am in my 21st year. So if I cross the border and decide I want to drink, I can just tell them, "Dudes. I'm 21 in Ancient Rome. I'm of age." Then I can drink!
(Plus, they're Americans, so they might actually fall for it. BAHAHAHA!!!)

Invested

2010-10-25T20:28:00.000-07:00

I've realized that when I listen to music, I get really emotionally invested in it. Especially when I know the lyrics. Because I'll sing along. Not necessarily out loud, but I do. And I emote. I make faces, even. I realized this when I was listening to my iPod on the city bus once.

All Over the Place

2010-10-22T18:18:00.000-07:00

Ellen Page is awesome.Kitty Pryde, aka Shadowcat, is awesome.Ellen Page playing Kitty is awesomecats all over the place.
Just sayin'.

That is all.

Run Over

2010-06-28T05:42:00.001-07:00

I've almost run over a lot of things at my work. But I don't think I've actually hit anything. Except maybe that chipmunk. I'm not sure...

Oh well. That happens when you work at a bird sanctuary.

Thankful

2010-06-28T05:36:00.000-07:00

A little while back, I mentioned to a co-worker that, on my days off that week, I had been picking stones. He commented on how picking stones is the worst job in the universe, and I would have to agree. I've actually compiled a list of things worse than picking stones, and the list isn't very long. In no particular order:

Slavery;
Genocide, or murder of any sort;
Justin Bieber's music and the like;
Orcs;
Country music; and
Twilight.

So, yeah. That's how bad picking stones is.

Anyway, when he said it's the worst job in the universe, I said, "You're tellin' me!" As soon as I said it, I realized I had almost said, "You're preaching to the choir." Immediately thereafter, I reflected on how glad I was that I didn't say that.

Thank peas I didn't.

A Little Bit

2010-06-28T05:31:00.000-07:00

I hate myself a little bit. I got up at 6:30 this morning. Peed, had some Cheerios, got dressed for work, pood, brushed my teeth, Facebooked a bit, and left for work at 7:30. It's about a half-hour drive from my house to my work. Which, by the way, is on the other side of the 45th Parallel. In other words, I live closer to the North Pole than to the Equator, but I work closer to the Equator than to the North Pole.

Anyway, at 7:52, I was coming into town, and then I remembered... Shipoopi (I'm trying to swear less, so I've replaced the last letter of one certain swear with "poopi," making it into the name of a song from The Music Man. You can't go wrong with musical theatre, I think). I don't work at 8 today. I work at 1:30.

Now I hate myself. A little bit.

Lots O'

2010-06-28T05:30:00.000-07:00

I've lots o' things to say, and finally a chance to say them. So, several posts today!

Supernatural Pornographers

2010-02-26T17:47:00.001-08:00

So, I was watching an episode of Supernatural (I'm still watching the episode; that's how excited I am), and Dean was talking to some college kid, and I noticed a poster the guy had on the wall: The New Pornographers' album "Twin Cinema!"

See, it's right there! Huzzah!!!

Peas

2010-02-23T18:02:00.000-08:00

Aw, peas!

My New Theory

2010-02-17T09:50:00.000-08:00

I've a new theory. My theory is that men aren't meant to buy underwear for themselves. We can if we like, but we're not meant to. My reasoning is: the packaging. I don't see how a picture of a guy with chiseled abs and a big package is supposed to entice me to buy the underwear...

Tetris of the Caribbean

2010-01-14T12:17:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, when I play Tetris, I play music from "Pirates of the Caribbean," so that it seems more monumental and less like I'm wasting my life.

Half 'n' Half

2010-01-13T14:40:00.000-08:00

I am half centaur, half human.

The Unexpected

2010-01-12T07:14:00.000-08:00

You know how they always tell you to expect the unexpected? That's a load. If you expect the unexpected, then you're expecting it, so it's the expected not the unexpected. The saying should be, "Always expect the expected."
Then again, that's a little redundant and doesn't get the point of the expression across. So let's go with this: "Always expect what typically wouldn't be expected in order to prevent it from being the unexpected."

Also.
You know that whole "You miss every shot you don't take" thing? Again: a load.
You can't miss a shot you don't take. I mean, if you don't take it, you can't make it, but that doesn't mean you miss it. That's the whole point of taking a shot: so that you don't miss it. People don't take shots because there's an element of risk, and they're afraid they'll miss. As a result, they refrain from taking a shot so that they don't miss.

Taxation

2010-01-04T09:34:00.001-08:00

Hey, I was wondering... do they charge tax on gumballs from gumball machines? I mean, it's what, 25 cents?
So, let's suppose the gumball machine owner buys the gumballs to fill his/her gumball machine at 17 cents each.
Is he/she actually charging, say, 23 cents a gumball, with 2-cent tax? So then, of the 25 cents made for each gumball, 17 of that was to buy it, 2 goes to the government, and the owner gets to pocket the 6-cent profit.
Or does the government find gumball machines too inconsequential to bother charging tax, giving the gumball machine owner an 8-cent profit on each 17-cent gumball?
Hmm....

It's thoughts like these that make the world go 'round.

Practically Perfect in Every Way

2009-11-07T15:28:00.000-08:00

When I was a little kid, I always wanted to be able to have a robin just sit on my hand and sing along with me. I also tried snapping my fingers when cleaning my room, and I thought that, if I listened really hard, my reflection would have its own, separate voice.
Boy, was I in for a world of disappointment.

Thanks, Mary Poppins. Thanks a lot.

Poster Sale

2009-09-25T16:23:00.000-07:00

Remember how I mentioned the poster sale? Well that ended today at 5pm. I got a few, and for really good prices! I got a Van Gogh ("Open Air Cafe");

two Eschers ("Drawing Hands"

and "Reptiles");

a Steez one called "Turntables;"

and, my biggest one,
by Andy Warhol himself,

"The Velvet Underground and Nico."

Many Exciting Things are Approaching

2009-09-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

Let's list them, shall we?

1- Spiral Beach's new album
2- Islands' new album
3- The release of "Where the Wild Things Are"
4- Classes start Monday
5- The release of the film "Nine"
6- the release of the film "9" was this week
7- The poster sale at our school.

I need your prayers!

2009-08-30T20:10:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday my Oma (that's Dutch for grandmother) suffered a massive stroke. I'm asking that you all pray for her.

Additionally, my aunt has cancer for a second time. Please, pray.

I don't care if you see this years after I post this; God is out of time and will hear your prayers anyway. Please, pray for my Oma and my aunt.

Comedic Drama

2009-08-26T18:16:00.000-07:00

I oftentimes like to pretend my life is comically dramatic, like in the awesome show "Pushing Daisies." That was such a great show! Why did it get canceled?

Anyway, my antics, now and then, turn out similar to the show (no, I can't bring dead things back to life). I have even, recently, started hearing Jim Dale's voice in my head, narrating the key points of my life, in the show's style.

It's great.

I'm Also Excited About October 16th

2009-08-26T11:18:00.000-07:00

And that's because that is when "Where the Wild Things Are" is set for release. I've had the book since I was a little kid, and I am so freaking pumped about the film!

September 22nd will be a big day!

2009-08-25T15:40:00.000-07:00

Islands have a new album coming out. It will be called "Vapours."
I would post a related link, but couldn't find one clearly advertising the album.
So...

http://www.islandsareforever.com/

Spiral Beach have a new album being released on the same day. It will be called "The Only Really Thing."

http://www.spiralbeach.com/

Characters from The O.C. Who I Hate

2009-08-15T11:55:00.000-07:00

I don't understand how I can like a show so much when I hate so many of the characters, but I do.
I've decided to compile a list of all the characters who I hate. They are, in no particular order:

Marissa Cooper (How can you not hate her? Although she does have her good moments. But in the coma episode, you see how she ruined Kaitlin's life by not dying.)
Jimmy Cooper (At the beginning, he's not that bad, but he keeps making the same stupid mistake. "If you're going to leave again... Don't come back." -Marissa (in one of her good moments.))
Rebecca (I don't know her last name)
Julie Cooper-Nichol (I don't actually hate her; she's awesome. But I included her because I love to hate her, you know?)
Caleb Nichol (What a jerk!)
Lindsay whatever (I hate her with her stupid braid and her oboe and her mad-libs and her "Ryan, you're ex-girlfriend is so beautiful. Love my evil dad!")
Charlotte what's-her-face ("Now I suggest you leave, because there's only room in this town for one manipulative b****." -Julie Cooper-Nichol)
Dean Hess (with his bad haircut and sweater-vests. Ugh.)
Taylor Townsend and Summer Roberts (But in both cases, only at first. It didn't take me long to realize how awesome they are!)
Luke's brothers (They're really annoying, and they don't even look like twins.)
Kaitlin Cooper (That annoying, shop-lifting, drug-...doing teenager really cheesed me off, but she got more bearable once Marissa wasn't around to drag her down.)
Veronica Townsend (What a b****-a-roonie-doonie!)
Johnny's cousin (I'm sorry, but she's a bit of, for lack of a better word, a ho-bag.)
Theresa (I HATE HER SO MUCH! I can't even begin to explain how much I hate her, so let's move on.)
Volchok (I don't know if you noticed, but he's actually a really bad actor.)
Che (He's an annoying hippie who got Summer kicked out of Brown for stuff he did. He called her a weak gazelle. I only like him when he's in Newport (and with Seth in the surrounding forest). Except, of course, in Alt-World.)
Some Girl (You see her for about five seconds in the comic book store after Seth says, "Did you just ask me if there's an X-Men comic based on the movies?" and before she runs out crying. Still, you can't help feeling sorry for her.)

Blasphemy

2009-08-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

So, my mom has a page-a-day calendar of cookie recipes. Yesterday, the recipe was for Jelly Coconut Squares. That's disgusting. I mean, first of all, jelly does not sound nearly as appetizing as jam, right? And coconuts are absolutely narsty. Yes, that's right: narsty. When I tried to think of something more absolutely repulsive, the only thing I thought of was Jelly Coconut Blasphemy. Yes, using Jelly Coconut to blaspheme against God Most High.

Speaking of which, I saw on a picnic table yesterday, quite unfortunately, two sentences:

"No gods, no master.
Ni dieu, ni maitres."

Not only were they inconsistent with pluralizations, they also neglected to put a necessary accent circonflexe (is that how you spell it?).

But that's not what even got me. It was the lame atheist graffiti. I hate teenagers. They're so stupid and immature. And yes, I do realize I am one of them.

My Super Awesome Awesome Super Dream Awesome Band Awesome

2009-08-12T20:10:00.001-07:00

I have devised a band. It works much the same way as Broken Social Scene, in that all the members are members of other bands, or solo artists. Also, they're all Canadian. There are even some of the same members. Anyway, this is who would be in the band:

Win Butler and Régine Chassagne of The Arcade Fire
Leslie Feist who is Feist
Jim Guthrie and Nicholas Thornburn of Islands and Human Highway
Joel Plaskett of The Joel Plaskett Emergency
Emily Haines of Metric
Kathryn Calder and AC Newman of The New Pornographers
Maddy Wilde and Airick Woodhead of Spiral Beach
Torquil Campbell and Amy Millan of Stars
Sara Quin and Tegan Quin of Tegan & Sara
Dave Monks of Tokyo Police Club
Liam Corcoran of Two Hours' Traffic
Paul Murphy of Wintersleep

So that's it. That's what it is. If any of the above-mentioned people happen across this, please please please get into contact with the other ones and form this band. I would be eternally grateful.

I think a good band name would be, "A Victim of His Own Demise." See, it sounds ironic, because he's a victim of his own, but it's really not, because it's his demise. Obviously he's a victim of it.

Sincerely,
Me.

P.S. Eternally.

P.P.S. I'm writing this part On September 12th. Emily, I dearly hope you kept that tiny piece of paper I gave you after your show at Wilfrid Laurier, and you found this. Please, if you do, let me know. I think the result can be as phenomenal as you were tonight!

lets_go_gnoming@hotmail.com

New Name

2009-07-31T17:45:00.000-07:00

Through the help of Wikipedia, I have recently realized what moonshine is. So, I made up a more believable-sounding name for me. Got it? Now I'm Thomas Krol.

Sick and Disgusting

2009-07-23T13:28:00.000-07:00

Last week, I disappointed myself in realizing that I've begun using the word sick, when not referring to a person, plant, or animal with a malady or the Ottoman Empire in the 1800s. No, I've been using it to mean "cool." For shame, Storm! For shame!

Anyway, I'm not far into it, so it'll be easy enough to stop, and return to saying, "sweet" or "sweetness." I say both. Plus, every time I say "sweetness," I hear in my head, "Sweetness never suits me when I get it up to take you home..." That's the beginning of the song "Midnight Coward" by Stars. It's a good song, and it makes me happy when I hear it.

Mirage of Loss

2009-07-21T17:15:00.000-07:00

You should all check out my other blog, called Mirage of Loss. The link is... somewhere around here. It's my ploy to get people to like good music, instead of that crap that annoying teenagers listen to.

Scared the Crap Out of...Well, Not Me

2009-07-09T15:45:00.000-07:00

In our grade 12 World History class, Lisa revealed to me that she had many fears. Throughout the semester, I compiled a comprehensive list of her fears. Don't worry; she has no racist fears. And do not ridicule her; she has a good reason for each.
Her fears, in order of their discovery, are these:

capital letters
cheese
universities
swimming
breast feeding, breast pumps, and other related paraphernalia
getting a cut
the economy
the news
stock market crash and/or recession
failing
spiders
clowns
Cirque du Soleil, and the interaction it entails
lethal diarrhoea
demons
skeletons dancing around her body
airplanes
driving
downtown in cities (mostly everywhere outside the town she lives in)
malls
parking lots
lots of people
taxis
city buses
Greyhound buses
germs
getting beheaded
being in debt
taxes
mortgage
getting stabbed in the eye by a monkey
giant squid
boating
waterskiing
parachuting
bungee jumping
jumping out of a plane
world-wide famine
epidemics
malaria
travel
cutting tomatoes
our history teacher
open-sea boating
inflation
the NDP party
communism
wave pools
messed up schedules
falling off a bridge while changing a tire
sulphuric acid
a truck losing its brakes and crashing into her
flesh-eating diseases
drinking water
corporal punishment
epidurals
insurance
hobos
pandemics
tuberculosis
uranium
tupperware
apples
ice cubes
the school librarian
giving birth
the world
night time
It
land mines
getting kicked out of university

I need a job

2009-07-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

Seriously, guys. I need a job.

Title

2009-07-08T14:02:00.000-07:00

Alright! I would like to share with you all the meaning of my blog's title. Well, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure what the meaning is. It's a quote from this great song called "Rough Gem" by an equally great band called "Islands." They are a Montreal-based band that my cousin from British Columbia told me about. She's the only other person in the world that I know who listens to Islands. Sometimes that makes me happy, 'cause I love Indie music and knowing bands that other people don't. However! It makes me sad that everyone is missing out on the awesomeness that is Islands. Hmm......

Moonshine

2009-07-08T13:01:00.000-07:00

So I just googled my name (not my real one) and it turns out Storm Moonshine is an actual thing. Not a person, but a thing. Apparently it's a cleaning product for...bowling pins?

http://www.bowling.com/products/storm-moonshine-particle-polish---cleaner.htm

I know. Me too. I was equally shocked as you are. Or is it equally as shocked? My shock was at the same level as yours is.

Dag.

Day One

2009-07-08T12:50:00.000-07:00

Ah, yes. Day One of my new blog. I can't believe it. After years of making fun of blogs and bloggers, I am finally doing it myself. And why? Because someone told me to. Yes, Lisa, I'm talkin' 'bout you. No matter. What's done is done, and I have a blog now. Might as well make the best of it.

So, I've decided to use an alias for my blog. Remain undercover. Storm Moonshine, my name shall be, and my name shall be Storm Moonshine. (I'm a guy, by the way.)

So there it is: my first post. Really makes me not proud. Not proud indeed...